Man in cap on a skateboard

Your business life is your personal life

Hot take coming up. Can we really call someone successful if their personal life is in shambles?

This post is genuinely not about judging anyone. Life is complex and we can experience all sorts of hardship and pain when we least expect it.

So let’s start with me.

I haven’t burned out personally but I’ve been on the trajectory towards it. I’ve made many mistakes where I’ve let others down and myself. There are seasons of life where I look back and regret or even cringe.

We’re all human and imperfect. But I see a worrying trend online and in today’s culture that I do want to talk about.

I’ve noticed that many of the people I admire and follow online for their business wisdom or creative insights often reveal that the rest of their life isn’t doing so great.

If it’s not said openly, it’s kind of obvious when you read behind the lines.

Of course worst case scenario, it’s revealed in a big way through some sort of public failure.

I still think we can learn from people who are imperfect. And I always look for kernels of truth from those who are further ahead than me in an area.

But I wonder if it’s time we stop glamorising and idolising people who have only succeeded in ONE particular aspect of life?

  • Business is one aspect of life
  • Relationships are another aspect of life
  • Spirituality is another
  • Fitness and nutrition
  • Parenting, marriage etc

We make a fatal area when we assume that one area of success represents all areas of a person’s life.

We consult <insert celebrity here> for their input on <insert topic of the day> even if it’s nowhere near their expertise.

  • Musicians know music
  • Artists know art
  • Business people know business

Here’s the problem for me.

I don’t want to succeed in business but fail in my marriage.
I don’t want a ton of influence on Instagram but lose connection with my kids.
I don’t want to get flown out to speak at conferences whilst my own soul is depleted.

I don’t want success in one area. I want it in all areas. I want health. I want balance.

I want to have influence and wield power but I also want to protect myself from the darkness of it all.

I definitely don’t want to sacrifice one area on the altar for success in another.

Not everyone who is succeeding is doing it in a healthy way.

I’m at different places across the different areas of life that I’m growing in. For example, I’m well versed in communication. And I’m relatively new to fitness.

The important thing is that we’re aware of our need to succeed as a complete human being.

We may fail because of course we are imperfect. (And if you’ve already failed then there is grace for you too).

But let’s get honest about what we want and what we should value.

It’s holistic health and success.

We don’t want to partially win. We want to truly win.

Here are some practical ways we can succeed across all areas, not just some.

1. Build slowly

Ah yes, the S word. Why would we want to get things slowly when we can get them quickly? Because in most (not all) scenarios, success that comes quickly often ruins us.

  • The lottery winner doesn’t have the fiscal capacity to manage his newfound wealth.
  • The young superstar musician hasn’t yet developed the character to resist being treated like a god.

Pride comes quickly to us when we succeed too quickly. Wealth can ruin us. Having wealth is good as long as your relationship with it is healthy.

Be mindful of your capacity to handle things and cautiously build the future. Yes, there are moments for accelerated growth and you’ll know when to maximise them. But don’t covet overnight success. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Just ask famous people who can’t go out for a coffee without being mobbed.

2. Work on your inner life more than your external life

The externals are where the fun is. Money. Influence. Impact etc.

But the internals are what sustains the fun.

  • There’s no point having more high paying clients if you can’t respond to emails on time.
  • There’s no point having money if you have persistent back pain (cos you never move from your desk).
  • There’s no point being known if you can’t sleep at night because of the incessant stress.

Build the back end of your life and the front end will flourish.

Build your character and your gifting will thrive.

Build the systems inside your business and you’ll make more money.

Whenever we try to do more than who we are, we compromise in an area. It may be slow or gradual but it is inevitable.

3. Face your weaknesses

The reason we fail in an area is because we don’t focus on it. And we don’t focus on it because it’s not our sweet spot.

When I started my first business teaching music, I noticed that students would frequently skip over the most difficult part of the piece.

That meant that they practised the easiest bits over and over. And rarely touched the difficulty ones

And of course they got better at the former and never improved at the latter.

But when you hear someone play a song, which bit do you notice more? The bit that sounds good or that awkward mistake?

If we can make the decision to face our weakness, we will always find ourselves growing. And the good news is that these basic growth areas will actually have a disproportionate impact on everything you do..

The impact of moving daily if you never exercise is huge. Much greater than the regular fitness guy who starts wants to go to the next level. Newbie gains are a thing and it translates into all areas of life.

So what are you genuinely weak in? Face it head on. Get help by delegating to others in your business. Or paying someone to help you in your personal life. Get mentored. Get stronger.

That’s all I’ve got for you. Thanks for reading this article. I want to encourage you to be an outlier to the rest of the world. Let your story be different. Dare to succeed in all areas.


Main kneels in the sun against a wall and paints it white. A ladder leans to the side.

Why you keep working for free (and how to stop)

It’s 2024 and it’s time for you to stop doing free work.

Now of course not all free work is bad. But let’s be honest about why most of us actually do it.

We do free work because we don’t feel like we deserve to get paid for it. Perhaps we’re trying to buy good favour and future opportunities.

Or perhaps we’re simply not sure how to ask for money.

At the root of it all is a mindset about how we see the value of what we do.

Let’s talk about this limiting mindset

Nearly always, we do free work because we actually enjoy doing it and we want to help people with our skills.

For example:

  • We take photos because we love capturing moments.
  • We design a brand because we enjoy the process of visually representing an idea.
  • We produce a song for a friend because we love music

Break the lie

But here’s what’s going on beneath the surface. We are often actively believing the lie that if something is easy or enjoyable for us to do, then it is not really true work.

Therefore we shouldn’t get paid.

Can you see how this is so deceptive?

Work is supposed to be delightful

This stems from all sorts of programming in our childhood and even in our churches.

We’re told that following Jesus is about hardship and to get anywhere in life you have to work hard.

We associate work with pain instead of with delight. Thus we give away our best work instead of charging for it.

There is of course some degree of truth in these ideas. There is always an element of every type of work that is less interesting or requires us to persevere.

But taken to an extreme, we can falsely believe that if we are good at doing something then we shouldn’t be charging for it.

No it’s actually the opposite.

The will of God makes you feel alive

God made you with gifts and talents. In fact who you are is a perfect match for what you’re called to do. It would be strange (and definitely cruel) for God to design you any other way.

The reason you are good at it is because you are gifted for it.

And that’s exactly why you should charge for it.

When you work for free, eventually you run out of availability or resentment will build.

Neither of those scenarios is good for the people you seek to serve.

Here are some action steps for you:

1. For chronic overcommitters

Write down a list of your current responsibilities including unpaid work. Now get honest with yourself and ask which are actually outside of your capacity to do.

2. For those afraid of conflict

There will be some areas that you can immediately let go of. Pick up the phone and apologise for having miscommunicated your availability. Be honest. People understand.

3. When you’re in too deep

You may have to finish a project if you’ve dug yourself a hole. But don’t make the same mistake again.

4. If you’d like to get paid

Simply explain that you don’t have the capacity to continue this work for free. Remember when you say yes to one thing, you also say no to something else. If the work you do is truly valued by the client/friend then they’ll find a way to pay.

Some final thoughts

You can still choose to do free work just to help someone or be a blessing (I do this). But just make sure you’re not doing it from a place of fear or scarcity.

Your work is valuable so place value on it. It will save you much disappointment and pain in the future.


13: Build The Back End


My plan for 2024 is to focus on the things that drive success that most of us tend to overlook. The back end (as opposed to the front end) is a fitting metaphor to help us understand what really creates success. It's the things behind the scenes that matter most.

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